In the Name of
by PhoenixDragonDreamer
Summary: He held the damnation, the salvation of the Ark in his hand.


**Warnings:** Introspection, Character Speculation, Dark!Fic  
**A/N:** Written for _**who_contest**_'s **Prompt:**_Pleasure_ prompt and yes, it is comprised of the usual overly thinky (dark, angsty) ramblings, too much speculation and a lack of proper tea. This one hit me like a bolt out of the blue. A friend of mine told me how much she loved NiS (it was her fav eppie), and I thought about how much I loved DoaS, so this fic happened from that point. I am pleased to say that Eleven and I were completely in-sync on this one (you have _no_ idea how good that feels after all this time), so while there is the standard wandery, blithery within, we aimed (together) right where we wished to this time. As always, mostly unbeta'd and written in one go, so please forgive any mistakes and/or blatant vagueness. I apologize for any repetition, misspellings, sentence fails, grammatical oh-noes and general horridness. Unbeta'd fic is overly-thinky/blithery and unbeta'd.  
**Disclaimer(s): **_I do not own the scrumptious Doctor or his lovely companions. That honor goes to the BBC and (for now) the fantastic S. Moffat. The only thing that belongs to me is this fiction - and I am making no profit. Only playing about!_

* * *

He smiled when he saw Neffy, mostly unharmed and still as regal as ever. She was frightened (not that he could blame her), but she never once showed it. She rescued herself, really – but it was fitting that he see her do that. See her save herself. Even her own time had its prejudices, sadly.

He held the damnation, the salvation of the Ark in his hand.

And he'd heard Amy as she called out to him, but the lack of time (that's what he told himself anyway), prevented him from stopping to explain his brilliant idea. There were other things to discuss besides: like Amy's worry. She need't've worried. She had said they needed lives. A break.

But you can't have it both ways.

She warmed him with her smiles. Her approval brought tingles of pleasure to his tired hearts.

He doubted she'd approve of this though.

The thought still didn't dampen that shiver of dark joy at seeing Solomon at his feet. Still trying to bargain with him. He was vile. He murdered the peaceful inhabitants of this ship, the peoples who had come to his _distress call_ of all things – and he repaid them with terror and death in the worst way. There wasn't one flicker of remorse for the Silurians he had slaughtered.

'_Lizards_', he had said.

When the Doctor offered him his prize, though, he didn't seem best pleased.

It took everything the Time Lord had to keep the black rapture from tugging his lips into a smile. He remembered what it was like, this feeling, this…this _pleasure_. To have another man beneath your boot, at your mercy – the retribution like fireworks in the sky.

His next shiver was one of horror, but the taste was still too close to joy.

No. Amelia would not, could not know of this.

This one, he would keep for himself.

**O-o-O**

_This is not how we roll…_

But he could, couldn't he?

Jex's atrocities scrolled through his mind's eye –

_Gallifrey burning gold and white as ion canons burst death across the blazing orange skies_

and he could be sick. He could vomit up all the horror, the pain he had been witness to in his very long life. Rage and hate uncurled from his hearts; he knew these old friends well. So very well.

Amelia is angry with him. But _she_ chose to walk away – leave him alone and unsure in a universe gone mad without his name to stopper the holes within it.

Five pounds of pressure. Such a little thing, really.

He pointed the gun at Jex and felt that frisson of black joy spike once more, that dark intent that could solve so many ills. He was the Doctor. No one would question in the end.

He was losing the Ponds slowly, anyway.

Why not one hard push.

"You wouldn't," Jex stuttered, thinking he saw what he himself was not. A good man, perhaps?

"I honestly don't know," was the only answer he could give.


End file.
